Humility in Unknown Possibility | Blog

I love the people who are so deeply committed to seeing the good in everyone. I love the people who want to see so badly only the good in others. And I also tend to worry the most about those people.
I was recently thinking about what it means to “see the truth”. What does it mean to see others as they are? Not as we want to see them. I know someone, they are constantly striving to see the good in all people. That child like the innocence of yearning to trust others never leaving them. And there’s so much beauty in this person. They walk around always seeking to do good, encouraging others, and always attempting to make amends and understand. Therefore, this person can sometimes view others with this cloud. As though seeing someone through one of those beauty Instagram filters. Truly never seeing the color changes in a person’s aura that could indicate their imperfections and their manipulations.

After years of being in situations where I’ve had to protect myself, I have started to see people as they are. I’ve begun to not necessarily lose hope that all people have good, but to not trust until I’m given a reason to do so. Understanding that every human is made of both the good and the bad. I judge people now, solely on their actions not their words. I seek to see all the facts. I take a much more pragmatic approach to being in relationship and I’m quick to exit a relationship if I at any point don’t feel aligned with an individual and their actions. Especially if their actions morally don’t align with my own personal moral compass.

I sometimes feel so sad for my beautiful friend, who just can not see past the filter. Past the image they have built in their head. I want to shake them and say “look and see, as they are” because if you look at someone for who they are, truly, the good, bad, broken then you can be more prepared for the moments of heartbreak.

I so badly wanted to believe my mother was this person who was only good. Now that I’m a grown up, I see who my mother is. She’s a person who is smart, and kind, but only when it benefits her. She’s the kind of person who will never heal the brokenness in her, and therefore she’s a hurt person who hurts others. She’s kind but only in a way to manipulate. She’s this imperfect being. And she’s not going to change, even if I beg her. Seeing her with this clarity allows me to set boundaries. It allows me to say, this is who she is, and for me her bad outweighs the good. And therefore I make choices with this in mind.

I hope my friend, who so badly wants to see the good, can one day see the truth. See the whole. See the aura change. See without the filters. And take the actions they need to be in better relationships. Because they deserve more. They deserve better. And they deserve to move through life more prepared for the heartbreaks that come.