Hope: Is it missing?

#mentalhealthawareness #grief #hope

What I forgot to mention, is that in quitting, often hope is removed from what you thought your future would look like. In moving you say goodbye to the place you thought you’d die in. In saying goodbye, you lose the faces you thought you would see every day. And in that, you may have to leave behind a hope you once had for tomorrow.  This month has by far been one of the hardest months of my life. There was quitting something I cared a lot about. There was a major injury that will set me back in my physical healing journey. There was grief due to the loss of a young soul and the dreams that accompanied him. There was financial hardship and a sick doggo. And I have just been attempting to take each day as it comes. 

I thought my tomorrows would look different. I thought they’d be spent with certain people. I thought they would include places and faces, and yet there is a time that comes when sometimes that is not the case.  In my hardest moments, I have focused on the hope for tomorrow. But lately, I’m just attempting to live one day at a time and looking for joy in each day, as I haven’t had much hope.

I think the missing piece in this late-stage capitalist world we live in is hope. Something that I thought about last week was this: 

“What else is there if we don’t have hope for tomorrow?”

I’ve pondered on that question a lot lately because without hope, who am I?  I know I’m finding joy, but do I have a mustard seed of hope in me? Maybe the question is not of hope in tomorrow, but hope in today. Waking up, finding joy, and having hope the sun will set with me still here. I’m not sure what to make of life, but maybe we should all be searching for the hope in today, and the joy for tomorrow.